My apologies for being MIA for the past week. You see, I never really realize my depression has crept up on me until it is too late. There is always something that makes me stop and think, huh, perhaps I'm getting depressed?
For example, this go around it was when Sir Sunderland inquired what I was doing as I got up from the couch to take a shower. My response, "LEAVE ME ALONE!" It was then that I realized what was going on and took the proper precautions to keep it from growing into something beyond my control.
The funny thing about it is there is a girl I work with who also has depression. When she is a bummer to be around and somebody explains that she is having a bad day, I am embarrassed to say I roll my eyes and gossip about how she should take care of herself and get some meds. But when I'm depressed I feel bad for myself and mope around. I expect everyone to understand that I am "depressed."
When it (depression) was at its worst I felt betrayed that my friends didn't fully sympathize with me because I claimed the reason I hadn't called in months was because I was depressed. I now understand, as I too do not sympathize with others about depression. It just seems so simplistic and fixable, which I am learning with each and every episode is true. It may not be simplistic, but it is fixable and I have that power.
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