Published June 29, 2011
Becoming a stay at home Mom, was something I was struggling with since I was pregnant. You see, whenever times got rough on the job front, I imagined staying at home with the baby as a perfect escape. Who wouldn’t? An excuse to not have to work, getting to spend time with your child day in and day out? It’s the perfect situation. But there’s that constant money thing that gets in the way and ruins everything.
When I was eight months pregnant I came home in tears after giving a pitch to a room full of policeman to signup to volunteer a year of their life to mentoring a child. Not a single one signed up. In an attempt to escape from my job, I researched daycare, sure that it would cost more than my income. To my surprise, daycare was surprisingly inexpensive. So I faced the facts and worked up until the day my baby was born. And then I went back to work only six weeks after that.
Then came the day where I closed my eyes and imagined my perfect world. It involved my home, my family and celebrations. As I opened my eyes after these things came from my mouth I said,
“Holy crap! I want to be a stay at home mom?!?!”
And it happened, much to my surprise and completely out of my control.
And here I am, day three of my new found SAHness. I knew what would happen. I set these ridiculous expectations for myself and knew I’d let myself down. Two days of being home and my house is still a mess, laundry is still everywhere and I haven’t ironed all of Sir Sunderland’s clothes for the week, didn’t have dinner on the table when he got home from work (it was actually burning on the grill instead) and the floors still haven’t been swept (even though I let the roomba loose and it found the hay from the bunny’s cage and tracked it throughout the house).
Nevermind that I baked 36 cupcakes for a bake sale, Gwen didn’t take a nap all day, or that I ran a gajillion errands and entertained while still pumping throughout the day. I need to remind myself that this is an adjustment and will take time to learn the art of mastering housewife/motherhood, and that I’m pretty awesome and I have a cute little baby who agrees with that.