July 26, 2012

Update on This Life of Ours

So, are you wondering what happened? How did we fall into that crappy daycare situation and did we ever get out of it? Am I still working?

Let me start with daycare. We only let Gwen go to the crappy one for two days. And in those two days we were able to see all the red flags that resulted in us pulling her out of that situation so quickly it left everyone’s heads spinning. We spent weeks searching for this daycare and had done anything and everything possible to prepare for our new transition. Never had we imagined we’d end up right back where we started: fearful, worried and concerned about our daughter’s well-being.

Scrambling, we ran to our family who was more than happy to help. We uprooted our already messed with lives and went to live with the in-laws for a week, hoping that having the consistency and dependability of grandparents would at least provide Gwyneth a stable footing to overcome a nasty cold she’d been fighting.

Meanwhile, while in survival mode we somehow stumbled upon an in-home daycare that we knew was a fit.

We returned home in the middle of the week with an emergency doctor’s appointment for a baby who was miserably sick. Gwyneth and her father left the doctor’s office with antibiotics that seemed to cure not only her ear infection but also most of our troubles along with it.

Making the decision to send her to another daycare was not one we took lightly. How could we not make the same mistake we had made with the original one? How can we not be hasty when we’re clearly in a rush and desperate for a solution?

We listened to our instincts, double-checked with the county licensing department and finally made a leap of faith. We committed to the new daycare and on Monday we arrived with high hopes, a clean bill of health and two weary parents.

The daycare situation is leaps and bounds better. Her meals are cooked fresh throughout the day, she gets to play in a backyard that has more to offer than most parks in our area and when we pick her up at the end of the day she is more likely than not giggling and enjoying herself.

The past two weeks have been the first time since I started my job  that we have been able to get a glimpse of what this next year holds in store for us. And I will say this, it has been hard.

Some days are better than others, where the commute doesn’t wear us down or I am kept busy at work to keep my mind off how much I miss spending my days with Gwyneth. But there are those days when the tears won’t stop and the one-hour lunch break allows my mind to wander to the fact that I’m not with her and somebody else gets to enjoy my happy little girl.

And that’s where we are now. Adjusting to this new life, making it work the best we can and trying to stay sane. Week by week my tears are fading as I embrace this fate and accept that it is what is best for our family. Week by week we will adjust, adapt and make this situation work for us. Because try as I may to fight it, we’re grown ups and apparently that’s what grown ups have to do.

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