July 1, 2012

Looking Back {on Staying Home} One Year Later

This week we're in the throes of adjusting to daycare, commuting and not losing our minds so I am posting a few from the archives.


For a Reason

Published June 28, 2011.

Today someone asked me, if I ever believe that things happen for a reason?

Remember this last post? This came after years of soul searching depression, constantly searching for a definition that would define my role here on earth. I have been stuck in sucky job situations that beat me down and make me feel worthless and my tendencies are to let it get to me and control my life.

Just recently I was able to find the clarity I've been desperately seeking. I wrote down a list of things that describe me. I came up with 17 different things I could describe myself as:
college graduate, etc.

And only one of those was my job title. And that's when a switch flipped. My job doesn't define me. Being a mother doesn't either. And neither does being a wife. To truly "define" yourself is to lock yourself into one of these descriptions and alienate all the other ones. I would never focus on being a wife, and completely ignore being a mother, sister or daughter, let alone focus on being a Partnership Development Specialist (whatever that is, after a year in the position I still couldn't tell you wtf that hokey job title is supposed to mean).

That's a question only I can answer. And it's taken years of therapy and I might not still have that answer but I do believe I'm getting closer. Because things happen for a reason.

Like when I was called into a meeting Friday afternoon and told it would be my last day of work. As I sat there with a smile on my face, shaking from the shock, one of the first things that came from my mouth was, "Well, I did want to spend more time with the baby." And there you have it.

Things happen for a reason.

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