February 8, 2013

Maternity Clothes + Anxiety = 4 Months

Right about this time of pregnancy (4 months) is when I freak out and lose my mind in regards to clothes, their fit and maternity wear. I don’t buy clothes for myself often. In fact, I buy myself clothes after two holidays, my birthday and sometimes Christmas. And that’s pretty much it. And it's not like I run out and buy what I need. I head to the clearance racks and see what I can find, hem and haw over it for days then maybe, just maybe go back and buy something.

So when the belly comes knocking on the door, demanding it be clothed in something other than pants that are cutting off my circulation, I don’t gracefully go to the maternity section and get what I need.

This is largely in part because I’m cheap. Try as I might, I can’t walk into a store and buy what I need. I need to compare, see what’s out there, stop by Ross and see what they have and then go to Kohl’s just for good measure. In short, I will drive myself insane to save $5 and buy some crappy off-brand pair of pants that doesn’t even stay up on my belly.
This pregnancy I thought I had it handled, because last time I ran down to Motherhood Maternity and spent all sorts of money on all kinds of maternity clothes. And I was the recipient of a large lot of maternity clothes as gift during the last pregnancy. I survived the first time didn’t I? Why wouldn’t I be adequately supplied for round 2?

Because I’m cheap and bought cheap, wacky clothes, that’s why.
As I pulled out the box of maternity clothes I wondered, what was I thinking? Then I realized, that’s right, I was crazy, just like I was last week when I tried to find a new bra. Don’t even get me started on bras (which has proven to be a topic worth repeating nearly every blog post). Let’s just say this, avoid Victoria’s Secret at all costs while pregnant. Because of them I’ve wound up at Lane Bryant, trying on E and F bras. This sent me into a deeper spiral of quicker craziness because that is the most efficient way to make a woman who’s self-conscious about her rapidly changing body to become even more looney about the situation. And the $60 bra that totally made me look like Madonna at the pregnancy store and didn't hide my nipples? Come on!
Lucky for me as I sorted through the piles of bras that proved uncomfortable and useless and scoffed  through the “what was I thinking?” shirts and shorts from the last pregnancy I snapped back into the sane-world. I now realize how much money I wasted on so many things I thought I needed that turned out to be completely irrelevant.
This time I’m empowered. Whether it be by experience or the ability to enact my common sense when needed, I am empowered to realize that  Victoria's Secret isn't the only maker of bras. That there are other brands that measure larger and make you feel more like a woman with a growing and changing bust line rather than a fat cow.  I’ve also embraced the yoga pant and we are now best friends and will remain so until the end of time. And I also think I need to get a belly band, because I totally didn't have one given to me by a dear dear friend (thanks Kristie!) and I didn't try it on and believe it was too small because of the size 0 on the packaging. And I didn't get rid of it when packing my maternity things like a crazy, insane pregnant woman would.
So maybe, just maybe I won’t go and toss money away on “maternity” underwear, XXL sweat pants or buy anything from Ross, ever again. We shall see.