Dating Your Spouse

Dating your husband seems to be a hot topic nowadays. I’m not sure if this was the case when our parents were young and married with children, or if maybe it’s because of the types of media I consume (blogs written by religious women, magazines, websites) but the pressure is on when it comes to dating your spouse. Look at Pinterest for instance, there are at least 20 different links about “how to date your husband” complete with 30+ ideas of how to really keep that marriage roaring.

I jumped on the bandwagon last year after reading another blog post about somebody’s brilliant ideas of how you can date your spouse. I asked our siblings in town if they could all rotate through a 3 month cycle to watch Gwen and sat down to plan a date per month.

It never worked out and fizzled into the background, to which made me panic that our marriage was sure to crumble into pieces because we weren’t taking time for it and OMG all we’re going to care about is Gwen and before we know it we will surely fall out of love and get divorced because we didn’t have a pre-scheduled date on a monthly basis. Everyone knows that’s why marriages fall apart.

The truth is, in this stage of our lives officially dating doesn’t work. Our weeks are chaos-filled attempts at making it through the day-to-day routine with grace while our weekends are packed full of lord knows what plan or sickness we need to recover from. Scheduled date nights aren’t helpful right now and just create a lot of stress. This has taken awhile for me to accept.

If you read the “30 ways to date your husband” posts, you’ll see in between the cutesy little date ideas of hikes, miniature golf and romantic picnics there are the watch a movie with your husband once the kids go to bed ones too. And when  I really think about it, we’re dating each other just fine.  We make time for one another plenty enough. While it’s not an official “date” that doesn’t mean that we don’t sit down on the couch once the baby is in bed and watch TV while sharing a chocolate chip cookie or cook dinner together sneaking kisses in between tasks. We (more Jake than I, admittedly) try to make it a priority to step back from the daily “to-dos” and gaze into eachother’s eyes while cooing sweet nothings to one another as often as possible. Ok, ok, we totally aren’t those types of people, but you get the jist.

And those official date nights happen when they can, stress-free. Sometimes grandparents make it up for a visit and when they do we capitalize on the opportunity. They might not happen once a month or weekly, like everyone harps to make a priority but we’re fine with that.

Someday, I can see the value of these scheduled dates and would love for such a thing to work out in our lives, but that day isn't today, no matter how many times the internet advises me to do so. 

Musings of a Married Couple

The other day we had a poop incident. Naturally, I had to share it with the husband through a text, which looked like this:

Later that day I received this email from him:

______________________________________________________________________________________________

Hey there,

I just wanted to say that I love you very much. And I really appreciate all the love and care you give our beautiful daughter. I'm sorry that she dumped her poo filled diaper over her head and that you had to clean it up. That couldn't have been fun.

 Just know that you have my permission to tell that story at any major milestone event when she is an adult (can you say wedding toast?)

Anyways, I thought you would appreciate an early mother's day card. Love you!

TV as a Babysitter

Today I woke up to rain tapping against our bedroom window.As I snuggled up under the covers I was ever so rudely interrupted by Sir Sunderland’sdaily wake up call.

You see, I started waking up an hour earlier in the morningto squeak in a baby-free pump. This is after months of trying to figure out howto entertain the baby for a half an hour in the morning while she demandsattention.

I thought I had it all figured out. She will watch TV (gasp!). Allow me to explain the horror of this decision. We decided that we’d prefer she didn’t watch TV for as long as possible. This was decided after we put on Yo Gabba Gabba for our curiosity’s sake and watched her turn into a zombie at the ripe age of 3 months.

As I sat theretrying to pump and TV being the only thing to take her mind off the fact I wasn’tpaying attention to her, I tricked myself into believing that breastmilk trumps TV. Of course, it’s not so bad since she’s getting the  superpowers from breast milk, right?  What's a little TV going to hurt?So I resigned to the fact that wewould watch some show made for babies for half an hour each morning.

Then one night Sir Sunderland nonchalantly says, “well youcould just wake up earlier and do it before she wakes up.” We laughed, thenlooked at each other with the intensity of a man who’s just discovered gold. Eureka!

I now wake up with Sir Sunderland in the morning andget the job done in the wee hours of the morning before the baby wakes up. Nowinstead of watching crappy TV and preemptively creating a zombie child, we sitand eat breakfast together. Her relaxing on the boppy and me enjoying my bowlof frosted shredded mini-wheats.And the best part of the entire deal? We’reawake in time to give Daddy kisses as he leaves for work.

 

TV as a Babysitter

Today I woke up to rain tapping against our bedroom window. As I snuggled up under the covers I was ever so rudely interrupted by Sir Sunderland’s daily wake up call.

You see, I started waking up an hour earlier in the morning to squeak in a baby-free pump. This is after months of trying to figure out how to entertain the baby for a half an hour in the morning while she demands attention.

I thought I had it all figured out. She will watch TV (gasp!). Allow me to explain the horror of this decision. We decided that we’d prefer she didn’t watch TV for as long as possible. This was decided after we put on Yo Gabba Gabba for our curiosity’s sake and watched her turn into a zombie at the ripe age of 3 months. 

As I sat there trying to pump and TV being the only thing to take her mind off the fact I wasn’t paying attention to her, I tricked myself into believing that breast milk trumps TV. Of course, it’s not so bad since she’s getting the  superpowers from breast milk, right?  What's a little TV going to hurt?

So I resigned to the fact that we would watch some show made for babies for half an hour each morning.

Then one night Sir Sunderland nonchalantly says, “well you could just wake up earlier and do it before she wakes up.” We laughed, then looked at each other with the intensity of a man who’s just discovered gold. Eureka!

I now wake up with Sir Sunderland in the morning and get the job done in the wee hours of the morning before the baby wakes up.

 Now instead of watching crappy TV and preemptively creating a zombie child, we sit and eat breakfast together. Her relaxing on the boppy and me enjoying my bowl of frosted shredded mini-wheats.

And the best part of the entire deal? We’re awake in time to give Daddy kisses as he leaves for work. 

Off at the Next Cupcake Stop

This weekend marks our September Family Get Together. Myrole aside from hostess? Cupcakes.

Once upon a time I loved baking cupcakes. Every Monday Itried a new recipe and dove in wholeheartedly. The mess may have lingered in mykitchen for a day or two, driving Jake nuts, but for the most part I was happyto try things out and share them with the masses. But you know what? Most recipes were gross. I’ve found only one chocolate cake recipe I like and afrosting recipe that works.

Nowadays the idea of whipping up a batch of cupcakes brings the reality of dishesthat don’t fit in the dishwasher, trips to the store to buy ingredients and ahot kitchen.

And then thefrosting. THE FROSTING. I hate hate hate cleaning up the mess after frostingcupcakes. A mixer bowl covered in slimy goo, a tip in the bottom of a bag thatyou have to stick your finger in to clean. This is the mess that sits in the kitchen for days until Jake breaks down and cleans it for me. 

{Oh, by the way I discovered a great tip cleaning tip. Anipple brush. This will get it’s own post in due time.}

So I did the unthinkable. I pawned off the cupcakes to my brother in law's girlfriend.

When I announced this toJake his response was a deep look of concern followed by, “Are you alright?”

To which I responded with a watered down version of the aboverant.

I’ve jumped off the cupcake train and I know it’ll always bethere waiting for me. I will remember it with fondness and maybe someday I will break out the cupcake tins and wow the Mommies of baby G's friends. But for now, I'm perfectly fine with not having to deal with them. 

Off at the Next Cupcake Stop

This weekend marks our September Family Get Together. My role aside from hostess? Cupcakes.

Once upon a time I loved baking cupcakes. Every Monday I tried a new recipe and dove in wholeheartedly. The mess may have lingered in my kitchen for a day or two, driving Jake nuts, but for the most part I was happy to try things out and share them with the masses. But you know what? Most recipes were gross. I’ve found only one chocolate cake recipe I like and a frosting recipe that works.

Nowadays the idea of whipping up a batch of cupcakes brings the reality of dishes that don’t fit in the dishwasher, trips to the store to buy ingredients and a hot kitchen.

And then the frosting. THE FROSTING. I hate hate hate cleaning up the mess after frosting cupcakes. A mixer bowl covered in slimy goo, a tip in the bottom of a bag that you have to stick your finger in to clean. This is the mess that sits in the kitchen for days until Jake breaks down and cleans it for me. 

{Oh, by the way I discovered a great tip cleaning tip. A nipple brush. This will get it’s own post in due time.}

So I did the unthinkable. I pawned off the cupcakes to my brother in law's girlfriend.

When I announced this to Jake his response was a deep look of concern followed by, “Are you alright?”

To which I responded with a watered down version of the above rant.

I’ve jumped off the cupcake train and I know it’ll always be there waiting for me. I will remember it with fondness and maybe someday I will break out the cupcake tins and wow the Mommies of baby G's friends. But for now, I'm perfectly fine with not having to deal with them. 

Daily Musings of a (Pregnant) Married Couple

One dilemma I've run into with being pregnant is that my wedding rings stopped fitting a few weeks ago.
I've been dealt with  one of two choices: a.) wear my rings around my neck or b.) purchase a cheap large ring to substitute my real ring for the time being.

After feeling like a teenager with my rings around  my neck, I was trying on the "fashion rings" from the $8.88 rack at Walmart.

As I tried them on Sir Sunderland weighed in his opinon:
"Well, I have to admit that I'm more embarrassed to have someone think that I bought you that ring (referring to the oversized, bright, too shiny fake "diamond" ring) than you being pregnant and not married."

And here I was thinking there was no greater shame than running around pregnant without a wedding ring. But apparently, god forbid I have a tacky ass ring....

Daily Musings of a (Pregnant) Married Couple

One dilemma I've run into with being pregnant is that my wedding rings stopped fitting a few weeks ago.
I've been dealt with  one of two choices: a.) wear my rings around my neck or b.) purchase a cheap large ring to substitute my real ring for the time being.

After feeling like a teenager with my rings around  my neck, I was trying on the "fashion rings" from the $8.88 rack at Walmart.

As I tried them on Sir Sunderland weighed in his opinon:
"Well, I have to admit that I'm more embarrassed to have someone think that I bought you that ring (referring to the oversized, bright, too shiny fake "diamond" ring) than you being pregnant and not married."

And here I was thinking there was no greater shame than running around pregnant without a wedding ring. But apparently, god forbid I have a tacky ass ring....

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

While getting dressed this morning:
Sir Sunderland: "Man! Do you remember when you bought those pants and they were too big?!"
Me: "Yes, I do."
Sir Sunderland: "Somebody's pregnant!"

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

While getting dressed this morning:
Sir Sunderland: "Man! Do you remember when you bought those pants and they were too big?!"
Me: "Yes, I do."
Sir Sunderland: "Somebody's pregnant!"

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

*This is not how we store our books, just to let you know. We finally got to unpacking this was the beginning of the long awaited organization process.*

Sir Sunderland: Wow, I have a lot of books

Me: Really? I hadn't noticed

 

These are all from the same author, and just a few of the collection. I ask of you, how can one author write many books? Better yet, how do we own so many of them?

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

*This is not how we store our books, just to let you know. We finally got to unpacking this was the beginning of the long awaited organization process.*

Sir Sunderland: Wow, I have a lot of books

Me: Really? I hadn't noticed

 

These are all from the same author, and just a few of the collection. I ask of you, how can one author write many books? Better yet, how do we own so many of them?

Going to see Date Night on our Date Night

Oh how I wonder how many other couples are doing this. I will save you from the cute little idea I had of posting a picture of  us all dolled up on our date night somewhere in this post. For one fleeting moment I thought it'd be cute.

Anywho, as HUGE 30 Rock and Office fans we couldn't wait for this gem to come out.

To make matters even better, check out this deal!

Sir Sunderland says, "Who needs that much popcorn?" Knowing full well that his wife is indeed a popcorn nut. 

I mean, last time we went to a movie I got a junior size of popcorn, which I polished off during preview #2. The cost? $4 freaking dollars! 

So clearly, my friends, this awesome tub is the way to go. I'm going to look so glutenous cool skipping into the theaters with my tub. "One refill please!"  You'll probably see me in the bathroom 10 minutes into the movie (because we all gorge ourselves on it before the actual movie itself) vomiting because I just couldn't stop eating and it's such a good deal. Either way, it's a bargain!

Going to see Date Night on our Date Night

Oh how I wonder how many other couples are doing this. I will save you from the cute little idea I had of posting a picture of  us all dolled up on our date night somewhere in this post. For one fleeting moment I thought it'd be cute.

Anywho, as HUGE 30 Rock and Office fans we couldn't wait for this gem to come out.

To make matters even better, check out this deal!

Sir Sunderland says, "Who needs that much popcorn?" Knowing full well that his wife is indeed a popcorn nut. 

I mean, last time we went to a movie I got a junior size of popcorn, which I polished off during preview #2. The cost? $4 freaking dollars! 

So clearly, my friends, this awesome tub is the way to go. I'm going to look so glutenous cool skipping into the theaters with my tub. "One refill please!"  You'll probably see me in the bathroom 10 minutes into the movie (because we all gorge ourselves on it before the actual movie itself) vomiting because I just couldn't stop eating and it's such a good deal. Either way, it's a bargain!

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

Scene: In the car on the way up to Lake Tahoe for a family trip

Me: Don't you worry! I not only packed the camera but also remembered to pack the battery charger since it was getting low.

Sir Sunderland: I was worried

Me: Oh, wait.....I didn't grab the damn memory card!

Sir Sunderland: You know what you should do? Put the memory card back in the camera after you use it.

Me: Yes, because I hadn't thought of that........

Such a shame I didn't have the camera as we stayed in a cabin off a hill that overlooked the Lake with the most gorgeous views I have ever seen. This did, however cause me to think about how often I really take in a view for its beauty without using a camera to detract from the here and now. On our honeymoon my most favorite day of the entire trip was camera-less, yet it is the most vivid in my memory. Funny how that works, eh?

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

Scene: In the car on the way up to Lake Tahoe for a family trip

Me: Don't you worry! I not only packed the camera but also remembered to pack the battery charger since it was getting low.

Sir Sunderland: I was worried

Me: Oh, wait.....I didn't grab the damn memory card!

Sir Sunderland: You know what you should do? Put the memory card back in the camera after you use it.

Me: Yes, because I hadn't thought of that........

Such a shame I didn't have the camera as we stayed in a cabin off a hill that overlooked the Lake with the most gorgeous views I have ever seen. This did, however cause me to think about how often I really take in a view for its beauty without using a camera to detract from the here and now. On our honeymoon my most favorite day of the entire trip was camera-less, yet it is the most vivid in my memory. Funny how that works, eh?

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

Me in the bathroom putting on makeup while Sir Sunderland is in the bedroom

Me: Are you filing your nails right now?

Sir Sunderland: Umm, yea, what else am I supposed to be doing?

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

Me in the bathroom putting on makeup while Sir Sunderland is in the bedroom

Me: Are you filing your nails right now?

Sir Sunderland: Umm, yea, what else am I supposed to be doing?

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

The Setting: Me, on the computer in the kitchen

Enter Sir Sunderland: Do you know where the rest of my bathrobe is?

Me: What?
Turn around to find Sir Sunderland standing in nothing but the tie to his bathrobe.

Insert fits of laughter and giggling

Sir Sunderland (giggling): What? I really am a little cold and need my bathrobe.

Daily Musings of a Married Couple

The Setting: Me, on the computer in the kitchen

Enter Sir Sunderland: Do you know where the rest of my bathrobe is?

Me: What?
Turn around to find Sir Sunderland standing in nothing but the tie to his bathrobe.

Insert fits of laughter and giggling

Sir Sunderland (giggling): What? I really am a little cold and need my bathrobe.